Grudge

Are you carrying a chip on your shoulder? I can’t see it so don’t worry but chances are you probably are and what a heavy burden to bear. Back in the day to have a chip on your shoulder meant you had a bad attitude and always were defensive and ready to fight about anything. Well now grudges are popular spectacles on TV shows and even in the drama of our daily lives with our friends and family.

Many of us hold grudges whether we truly realize it or not. We refuse to be around someone because of a past incident. Grudges do nothing but hurt the person holding them. If you let a grudge hold onto you it will rule you and cause you to miss out opportunities with a person. Our Creator doesn’t hold grudges. But what about sin? Doesn’t God hold a grudge against sin because sinners are doomed to hell?

Let’s clear this up, God cannot be in the presence of sin because He is wholly pure whereas sin is wholly impure. They cannot be in the same spot at one time! That is not a grudge but an attribute that God has because He is the Creator, sin was created by Satan and then discovered by mankind thanks to Adam and Eve. Satan holds a grudge against God because Satan thought he could do what God did. Let’s see what caused Satan to hold a grudge against His Creator. Rewind and let’s get the full picture. God created angels with special talents and free will. God Almighty made Lucifer, a beautiful singer and beautiful to look upon the highest archangel in Heaven. Lucifer had the best job in Heaven. But it wasn’t enough for Lucifer. He wanted more, he let pride creep into its fullest extent to where he was full of himself and thought he could be God. The scripture recounts it as this; “Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee. How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. Isaiah 14:11-15.”  God kicked Lucifer out of Heaven but Lucifer wasn’t alone, a third of the angels followed Lucifer to Hell as well because they took Lucifer’s side. How sad to think about the very beings that were created denied their Creator. It wasn’t a pretty time and Jesus recounts this in the Bible, “And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. Luke 10:18.” God doesn’t play around. God kicked out Adam and Eve for their disrespect and sin too! But Lucifer aka Satan didn’t forgive God or get right instead he has held a grudge for thousands of years against God, His creation (mankind) and Jesus Christ.  Satan knows who God is and will do anything to discredit Him. The Scripture tells us, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. James 2:19.” Just because the devils don’t like God doesn’t mean they deny His existence! Yet Satan is working overtime for this lie to prevail in many forms and fashions, talk about a long-lasting grudge!  Satan has done much to discredit and dissuade people from following God by using people to do evil. There are some people out there who do the wrong things in the name of God when in reality they are worshipping Satan by their actions. God isn’t surprised by this, He knows the tricks of Satan and in God’s Word it says, “For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works. 2 Corinthians 11:13-15.” Satan will use any and all means to keep the grudge alive and will do this until he is destroyed. Satan knew Jesus was coming just not when or how it was told in the fall of mankind after God cursed Satan himself for deceiving Adam and Eve. God told Lucifer, “And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Genesis 3:15.” When Jesus died on the cross, Satan thought he won, that the grudge was over. But God had something else in mind! Jesus defeated sin and death when He resurrected three days later. The grudge Satan holds against Jesus is alive and well and will try to do anything to get people on his side. That being said, grudges don’t just affect Satan and those in his employ but all of us as well.

Grudges are easy for us to keep and harder for us to let go. Grudges give us a reason not to put up with other people. So, we don’t have to invite them to church, tell them about Jesus or just be nice to them!  It’s easy to feel bitterness in spirit towards people who have wronged you somehow. The Bible commands our attention here, “Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door. James 5:9.” The reason we can’t judge one another is because we can be condemned too for our sin and God Almighty is our judge. When people say, “Only God can judge me,” that is true but that should scare us! There are many different grudges in the Bible from Joseph’s brothers against him; Esau against Jacob and so much more and more importantly the very people who crucified Jesus didn’t like what He was saying, doing and teaching.

Those grudges are alive and well today as well. People hold grudges against others for things said, done, and for just being there. If we push people away because of something they have done we are not being a good example of Jesus. The Bible says, “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:14-16.” If we have hate and envying in our heart we are not following God but following the devil. We see that in Cain and Abel, what a grudge Cain carried! God told both guys what to do but only one obeyed and sadly paid a great price for a grudge. “But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen ?If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper? Genesis 4:5-9.” Cain had a severe grudge against Abel, so much so he killed him. We see those play out on our nightly local news of people being hurt or killed over a disagreement. People fight with weapons and fists instead of words or trying to come to a solution, nothing new as we see from the first children in history. You may not have killed or hurt anyone with the grudge you carry but Jesus does say, “Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca (worthless, good for nothing), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Matthew 5:21-22.” Anger can do many things to us by driving a wedge between family, friends and even us and God. Grudges create anger as well as conflict. The Bible warns us against us having conflict with one another. “That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit. But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. 1 Thessalonians 4:6-9.”  God doesn’t want us to hold anything against or over anybody.  It does us no good and hurts us in the end run. Holding a grudge may feel good at the time or feel justified and wonderfully explained but what would God think of our explanation and justification?

Jesus could’ve held many grudges but instead He was the bigger person. He didn’t hold grudges but held love and forgiveness in his heart for those who hated and despised Him. There may be people out there that hate us but we are asked to be the bigger person if we truly love God. When we get to Heaven and we are questioned about our love for people, but God brings up those who we have hated in our lives or put down, what will we say? “They made fun of me,”, “But you don’t know what they did!”, “They hurt me!” I’m sure God has heard it all but He has forgave it all too. And those grudges you carry are doing nothing but hurting your shoulders and weighing down a part of your life that Jesus wants to fix! Jesus plainly put it to us in the Word, “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48.” If we want to please God we must be able to forgive, not for the other person (they may never know you have forgave them) but for yourself to let yourself be free. We all have had things happen in our lives that we didn’t ask for or do ourselves. Some of it is brought on by evil in the world and from people allowing sin to take control. The rain doesn’t just rain on the ‘bad’ people, but all people because none of us are righteous in the sight of God Almighty. There have been reports of countless family members forgiving the murderer that killed their loved one. What strength we say! I could never do that, we may reply in our head.  Why? That would be so hard and so undeserving of the person who did the crime, we may think but we need to know it is not us who casts their eternal judgment but God. I’ve been that family member.  I’ve been on both sides of the argument and realize the only way we can make it through is God. Whether your side is doing the time or paying the price, the sad thing is with grudges, we all pay--dearly. Our lives suffer we just fail to see how miserable we are. That’s why we need God. God doesn’t need us, but He loves us. We need God because He loves us and wants us to love others. God loved Cain. God loved Judas. God loved the people who spat in Jesus’ face and mocked him. God loved the people who beat him to a pulp. God loved the thieves on the cross. God loved the people who nailed Jesus to the cross. God loved Pilate. God loved Lucifer. God LOVES you and I still. We still have an opportunity to make those wrongs become rights. We can ask for forgiveness for those grudges we hold. Our fists don’t have to clench in anger anymore but open up to hold love and kindness. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. John 3:16-21.” Jesus came to give us eternal life. There was no exclusion policy attached, no strings, no gimmicks just pure love. However, like love one must accept it. For love to work it must be given and received. Well, Jesus gave the love and eternal life, He is looking for recipients. Maybe that is you, maybe that is the person you are holding the grudge against, or that holds the grudge against you. Don’t you think it’s time to let the past go and let God take care of whatever was done to hurt you so bad? He’s got BIG shoulders.  We are told to love as much as we can for as we can, with all that we can. The scripture says, “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21.” If someone has something against you, pray about it. Seek God’s advice not man’s temporary but tempting solutions. Sure, it’s fun to play their game too, to give them a taste of their “own medicine” but that is not what God desires. God wants us to lay our bitterness and anger aside and let love shine through. Just as Jesus did with one of my favorite events in John 8 we read of a woman caught in the very act of sin, facing a crime punishable by death. She knew it. What she didn’t know is who was there. “And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him.” Please take time to read this. Picture yourself as the scribes and Pharisees, following tradition, ready to serve the commandments with the stones in their hands and their eyes angrily on the woman. How many times have we held stones or words and threw them angrily at others? How many?  Now, picture yourself as the woman, battered and shocked. She was in the wrong, but never thought she’d get caught. Now she faces certain death. How many times have you been kicked down by others (even if you were in the right or wrong), facing shame and being an outcast? How many times have you wondered, when is it going to end? But then something happened to these men and this woman. Jesus stepped in. Praise God!! “But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. John 8:2-12.” Don’t let your sins keep you down. Just like the woman you have a new lease on life. You are not the sin that keeps you shackled. You are sanctified and loved and even more than that, forgiven. However just like love, we have to ask for forgiveness by asking for it and even more not going back to what caused us to be sorry in the first place! We need to ask God to forgive us and if possible ask those we have wrong or those who have wrong us (yes even if they are in the wrong) that we are sorry for anything we may have done or caused and we want to make it right because that’s what God did for all of us. This passage tells us that, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:7-9.” God can cleanse us better than any soap or detergent, He gets to the truly hard to reach places and doesn’t bring any of the grime back to remind us. See, God truly doesn’t hold a grudge! As such, we shouldn’t either! These verses, while hard to follow are needed, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14-15.” Don’t fail God’s grace because you want to hold onto something because it gives you justification to not do something or not to care for someone, that’s all a grudge truly does, it holds you back as we’ve said before. A great quote puts it in perspective, "To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee."-William Walton. That one little grievance can cause a huge world of hurt because we let it. Don’t let the temptation to hate, hurt and hinder bother you any longer. Give it all to Jesus and He can take it all away.  We are told what not to do and what to do, “Thou shalt not avenge (repay), nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:18.” Hard? Definitely. Worth it? Absolutely! Imagine how Jesus would’ve been if He would’ve made excuses on why he couldn’t forgive those who hurt him. His grace wouldn’t be all-consuming, but it is. His love wouldn’t be encompassing, but it is. His salvation wouldn’t be everlasting but it is. While this world will cheer on a good rivalry, or a good drama, it is not what God has intended for our lives, no matter how juicy or enthralling it may be. It may seem dull to be full of love and forgiveness but it surely isn’t easy or popular! Let us leave with these verses in our hearts and in our minds as we go about our lives each day, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour (yelling), and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice (evil intentions): And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31,32.”  Let it all the actions that lead to sin and regret become nothing but a temptation not a memory you can’t forget. If you have a memory you can’t forget; remember Christ can forgive you and has. All you must is accept it. So, what about it, are you going to hold that grudge a little while longer and let it disfigure you from holding you down for so long or are you going to go boldly with confidence in the grace of God of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? As always, the choice is yours.